The Guilt of Rest: Why Sitting Still Feels So Uncomfortable
If you’ve ever sat down to rest and immediately felt guilty about it, you’re not alone.
Maybe it’s that voice in your head saying you should get up and do something. Maybe it’s a sinking feeling in your stomach when you realize you’ve been sitting too long. For many people rest doesn’t always feel restful. It feels like failure.
Where the Guilt Comes From
That guilt isn’t random. Most of us were raised in a culture that glorifies productivity and equates worth with doing. We learned that stillness equals laziness, and that success means earning the right to rest after the checklist is complete, the inbox is empty, and every obligation is met.
The problem is, that day never really comes. There’s always one more thing to do. So when you finally stop, your body might still be in “go” mode, flooded with tension, self-criticism, or the nagging belief that you haven’t done enough.
Rest and the Nervous System
When you’ve been living in a state of chronic stress or constant pressure, rest can actually feel unsafe. Your nervous system doesn’t automatically know that stillness means safety, especially if rest has been paired with guilt or anxiety in the past.
Sometimes “doing nothing” can stir up everything you’ve been trying to push down: sadness, loneliness, or a sense of not being enough. So you reach for your phone, open your laptop, or start reorganizing the pantry, not because you want to, but because your brain is trying to escape discomfort.
What Rest Is Actually For
Rest isn’t a reward for productivity. It’s a biological need. It’s how your mind and body integrate all the things you’ve been holding.
Without true rest, even the most meaningful activities start to feel empty because you’re running on depletion, not presence.
Rest doesn’t have to look like lying on the couch all day (though that’s allowed). It can look like sitting in the sun for five minutes, slowing your breath, or eating lunch without multitasking. It’s not about how much you do, it’s about letting yourself be.
Learning to Rest Without Guilt
If rest feels hard, start small:
Set a timer for five minutes and allow yourself to do absolutely nothing.
Notice what emotions or thoughts come up (guilt, anxiety, boredom—all normal).
Remind yourself: “Rest is part of healing. I don’t have to earn it.”
Over time, your nervous system learns that stillness can be safe, even nourishing.
A Final Thought
You are not lazy for needing rest. You’re human.
If you’re constantly feeling uneasy, overwhelmed, or guilty about slowing down, that might be your body’s way of saying it’s time to care for your inner world, not push harder. Therapy can be a space to unlearn that guilt and rebuild a more peaceful relationship with rest, your body, and yourself.
If you’ve been struggling to slow down or feel guilty for resting, therapy can help you reconnect with your body and your sense of worth. At Old Town Counseling in Fort Collins, I work with women and queer identifying folks navigating depression, burnout, and the complicated emotions that come with always feeling like you should be doing more. Together, we can create space for rest, healing, and self-compassion that actually feels safe.
